Thursday, October 24, 2013

Cybersex Addiction



Have you ever been on the Internet browsing the web and suddenly see pop-ups of naked women, penis enlargements, or live sex chats? Have you ever clicked on them? Have you ever watched porn online? If so, how often? How often is too often? What do you get out of cybersex?

“A vast network of millions of people with computers has provided, for virtually everyone, a tantalizing new - Adventureland - in which to experience and express their sexuality” (Boulware). Cybersex is defined as the consensual sexual discussion online to achieve arousal or an orgasm. Online sex is available on more than half of all Internet websites we visit every day, making it easy to come across.

Exploring the sexual world on the web is intriguing and exciting. It can also be informative. I would venture to say that as kids, we heard some phrases or words about sex from other kids that we didn’t know and looked them up on the Internet after school. Strictly for educational purposes, I’m sure. Or maybe a married couple wants to spice up their sex life so they search for new ideas for the sack. This innocent excitement can quickly turn into an obsessive compulsion or addiction.

Compulsive online sex can negatively impact your life and your relationships. Many Internet addicts abandon their social environments for the virtual ones. Most obsessive individuals will tell themselves it is not a big deal or they can control it if they wanted to. That’s denial. Those who have realized their addiction to cybersex “discovered their time on the Internet pursuing sex was consuming a significant chunk of their work time, distracting them from other activities, and pushing out, for lack of time or interest, existing relationships or new relationships” (Boulware). It’s extremely sad and tough to overcome. When the addiction becomes that deep, a further evaluation by a professional counselor or a therapist is needed. Maybe the addiction is a symptom of an emotional or psychological problem.  There are 12-step programs available for sex addiction.  One is Sex Addictions Anonymous, or SAA.  Their website is www.sexaa.org.  Many people find this type of program very helpful. 




Would you consider yourself addicted to the Internet? To you, is it determined by the amount time you spend on the computer, what you are doing while you’re on the computer, what you are giving up by being on the computer, or all three? Whatever it may be, it is still a growing problem. If you have concerns this may pertain to you, a friend, or a family member, take this self-questionnaire below to help you evaluate the severity of a potential cybersex addiction.

"1.   Do you visit porn sites or sex-oriented chat rooms more than 5 times a week?
 2.   Do you use your computer at work to access porn sites during the day?
 3.   Do you ever feel guilty, or ashamed of your on-line sexual activities?
 4.   Do you keep your cybersex a secret from your mate or partner?
 5.   Have you ever masturbated while watching Internet porn?
 6.   Do you frequently erase your computer files to conceal your cybersex activity?
 7.   Have you tried to cut down on the time you spend at sex-related sites?
 8.    Have you been successful at cutting down the hours you spend on the Internet for sex?
 9.   Do you feel anxious or upset when you are not able to access sex on-line?
 10. Do you worry that someone you know will discover your on-line sexual activities?
 11. Does it seem to you that your sex chat room friends are more significant to you than your regular friends or family?
 12. Does the time you spend on-line for sex, sometimes interfere with, or distract you from, your real life activities or responsibilities?
 13. Has a chat-room relationship ever progressed to phone sex, or sex in person with that individual?
 14. Have you purchase sex-oriented materials or products on-line?
 15. Do you very much look forward to your Internet sex activities?"
 (Boulware)

If you answered “Yes” to more than 8/15 questions, the situation is problematic and professional help is necessary. “There are a variety of treatments available from mental health professionals, psychotherapists and counselors” who have good track records with helping people regain control of their addictive behaviors (Boulware). Don’t be afraid to get help for yourself or family members.

Source

5 comments:

  1. From your self-questionnaire I have determined that I am not a cybersex addict. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I cannot believe that people actually abandon their social environments for the virtual ones. There is nothing like being face to face with somebody that you like to spend your with. It can be helpful for couples as you said, but it can be extremely hurtful as well. They can get trapped in one of those porn websites. In addition, just the fact that somebody goes to sex-oriented chat rooms more than 5 times a week sounds a bit extreme. This article is really shocking. I think those kind of websites can be used as information or for some kind of help. Some of them possesses useful information for couples.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unfortunately, cyber sex has taken on a whole new form in this time and age. Gone are the days of simple relationships/simple sex lives. Instead, the internet and cyber world itself is what people gravitate towards to find that sense of excitement they lack in their humdrum lives. Though it may seem cybersex is used for a form of a sexual side hobby or outlet, users view it as a form of escapism into the vast internet world - just as video gaming can seldom provide. We see today the emergence of more and more online dating or "hookup" apps (see Tinder, Twine, Grindr, Blendr, etc etc.) that are popular among college aged peers that have sexual undertones blended within the territory. Sadly, with the growing disparities between millenials, it will all soon become something normal to participate in.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I would not personally consider myself to be addicted to the internet by any means, but I feel like I know a few people who could possibly be. As far as cybersex, I do not know much about it but know that it is a growing problem. The internet is so available to everyone at basically anywhere at anytime. People can be so easily persuaded into doing things over the internet that they would never dream of doing in person. It's a sad reality and is what i see as one of the worst cons about the internet.

    ReplyDelete
  5. In today's world, cybersex addiction has become a huge problem. Because the internet has become available to so many people it is a growing problem. People can become addicted very easy and it is hard to see anyone struggle with addictions. Cybersex can ruin relationships with you're family and friends. Also, from you're questions, I am not considered a cybersex addict.

    ReplyDelete